The Hidden Costs of Being Single & Dating Experiment Updates

This week in The Labia Lounge I recorded an impromptu solo episode. In this eppy I speak on the less-talked-about realities of singlehood: the emotional labour of dating, the “single tax,” loneliness, reduced support, and the pressure to pretend that independence always feels empowering.

I also talk about what happened after taking a romantic risk in person, including the nerves, embarrassment and “shame hangover” that followed my last attempt to shoot my shot!

I also unpack the grief of watching friends couple up, get married and have children while grieving a future that once felt certain. From the financial strain of living and travelling alone to the practical and emotional support that can come with a healthy partnership, the eppy challenged the hackneyed advice to “just enjoy being single” and "it'll happen at the right time when you least expect it".

I yarn about things like:

The cost of the “single tax,” from housing and travel to meals, gifts and household responsibilitiesMissing regular touch, cuddles, co-regulation and someone to come home toThe strange loneliness of going to festivals, gigs and events alone, knowing no one may notice if you disappearWhy dating can feel like exhausting, repetitive labour, especially when every new connection requires retelling your life storyThe yearning to stop dating and finally put down roots in a lasting relationshipWhy “it’ll happen when you stop looking” can be particularly unhelpful advice in the current dating climate

Trigger warning: This episode discusses grief, loneliness, fertility, gender-based violence and the emotional realities of dating.

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