EP 27 | Lucia – Premature Birth, NICU, Infant Loss, Grief & Motherhood After Loss

<p>In this episode, Lucia shares the story of becoming a mother to Edmund, losing him after 40 days in NICU, and how his life profoundly shaped her experience of motherhood, grief and matrescence.</p><p>We discuss:</p><ul><li>Lucia’s journey towards deciding she wanted to become a mother</li><li>Her waters breaking at 24 weeks</li><li>Spending two weeks in hospital on bed rest</li><li>The feelings of fear, sadness and that her body had failed her</li><li>Preparing for the possibility of an extremely premature baby</li><li>Becoming unwell at 26 weeks and Edmund’s emergency birth</li><li>Edmund being born at 26 weeks weighing 820 grams</li><li>Meeting and touching Edmund for the first time in NICU</li><li>Recovering from an emergency caesarean while wanting to spend every moment with her baby</li><li>The infection that contributed to Lucia becoming unwell</li><li>Struggling physically and emotionally during the early postpartum period</li><li>Asking for mental health support and being taken seriously by the hospital team</li><li>Pumping milk for Edmund while he was in NICU</li><li>Seeking further support through her GP and eventually a perinatal psychologist</li><li>The extraordinary support Lucia and David received from the NICU team</li><li>The emotional uncertainty of having a critically unwell premature baby</li><li>Edmund’s 40 days in NICU</li><li>Discovering a congenital abnormality affecting Edmund’s lung</li><li>Making the devastating decision to move Edmund into palliative care</li><li>Spending precious time together as a family before saying goodbye</li><li>Holding Edmund as he took his final breath</li><li>Creating memories after his death, including bathing, dressing and photographing him</li><li>The importance of photographs and memories during grief</li><li>Lucia and David experiencing grief in very different ways</li><li>Learning to respect a partner’s individual way of grieving</li><li>The role of perinatal psychological support after infant loss</li><li>Leaving hospital without your baby and navigating postpartum after loss</li><li>The grief of no longer returning to NICU every day</li><li>Lucia’s experience of matrescence</li><li>The difficult experience with Lucia&#39;s workplace and maternity leave after Edmund died</li><li>How motherhood and loss changed Lucia’s relationship with her career</li><li>Learning that it was okay to say Edmund’s name and talk about him</li><li>Finding meaningful ways to honour and remember Edmund</li><li>Creat