The Fearful Avoidant Husband (FA Podcast Series)

About 90% of the men I work with are fearful avoidant.  What does that mean?

In this first episode of The Fearful Avoidant Husband Podcast Series, Bruce Abbott looks at why some husbands can appear highly anxious when they are married to a dismissive avoidant wife.

You want affection, sex, emotional connection, and reassurance. Your wife pulls away, so you pursue. You explain more, initiate more, analyze the relationship, and keep trying to close the distance.

That looks like anxious attachment.

But what happens after years of rejection and disappointment?

You may suddenly shut down. You stop initiating. You become cold. You think about divorce. You tell yourself you do not need her anymore. Then your wife moves toward you and another part of you thinks, “Too late. I don't trust it anymore.”

That movement between wanting connection and protecting yourself from connection can be an important sign of fearful avoidant attachment.

This episode explores the fearful avoidant husband, anxious attachment, dismissive avoidant relationships, hypervigilance, resentment, scorekeeping, protest behavior, emotional shutdown, sexual rejection, and the push-pull relationship cycle.

You will also learn why wanting intimacy does not always mean that you trust intimacy. A fearful avoidant husband may desperately want to feel close to his wife while also protecting himself from the vulnerability that real closeness requires.

The goal is not to use an attachment style as an excuse or another label.

The goal is to start noticing your own movement.

When your wife pulls away, do you chase?