Assume Best Intentions (ABI) with Yourself, Your Kids, and Everyone Else

What if the person driving you crazy isn't actually trying to drive you crazy? This week on the Spicy Brain Podcast, Michelle and Megan dig into the concept of ABI (Assume Best Intentions) from their ongoing deep dive of The Essential Guide to Raising Complex Kids. They talk about what it means to give people the benefit of the doubt, why hypervigilance makes that nearly impossible, and how being intentional with your own life creates more space for grace with everyone else.

Megan shares stories from her theater days, her legendary roommate keyboard incident, and how building a nighttime routine with Mom (shoutout to Taps at 10 PM on the military installation) helped her reset. Plus, a sweet moment where Brian asks for help with the dishes, Michelle learns to ask for what she needs, and the sisters brainstorm what "assuming best intentions" even means when your kid is two years old and throwing a shoe across the room.

If you are navigating neurodiversity, ADHD, parenting complex kids, or just trying to be a little less reactive in your relationships, this one is for you. We are not experts, we are just sisters cracking open their spicy brains and figuring it out together.

See Megan's ridiculous pugs in their dessert themed cones here.

Chapters:

00:00 - Welcome to the Spicy Brain Podcast01:00 - Shoutouts to our Twitch community02:28 - The Essential Guide to Raising Complex Kids04:12 - What is ABI? (Assume Best Intentions)05:00 - How assuming spirals in relationships09:30 - Megan's theater stage manager story13:00 - The roommate keyboard incident16:30 - Hypervigilance and fight or flight17:45 - Mindfulness (okay fine, Samaya was right)24:00 - Getting intentional about life again25:00 - Building a new routine with Mom29:00 - Apply ABI to yourself too35:30 - When Brian asked for help with the dishes38:00 - Michelle learns to ask for what she needs42:00 - Do we give more grace to strangers?47:00 - When kids are intentionally testing limits53:00 - Are we anthropomorphizing our kids?55:00 - Compassion for kids with complex needs57:30 - Celebrating the micro wins59:00 - Wrap up and what is coming next week59:30 - Outro and subscribe60:30 - Bonus: VIP community announcement

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neurodiversity, ADHD, parenting, complex kids, assume best intentions, ABI, mindfulness, hypervigilance,